Canine
Confidential
An Advice
Column for People Who Love Their Dogs (Possibly Too Much)
Max: (gnawing on a pencil) Remind me again why I have this.
Bubba: Not as a dietary supplement. We’re
starting an advice column.
Max: Cool. (Runs in a circle) I’m jiggy with that. Let’s do
it. (pant, pant) Uh, what’s advice?
Bubba: It’s what Mom always gives Dad.
Max: Oh. You mean the stuff he never listens to.
Bubba: Except when she bribes him with the
last ginger snap.
Max: Ginger snap crumbs. Oh, boy, Oh boy! (Wrestles with the
pencil) How do you hold this, anyway?
Bubba: Use your thumb.
Max: Don’t got one.
Bubba: Oh, yeah, huh? (Takes the pencil from
him). Okay, then, it’s settled. We’ll type our answers.
Max: Answers. Yeah. I can do that. Uh, what do we answer?
Bubba: Questions.
Max: You mean those words with the hooky-dotty thing at the
end?
Bubba: Right. (Rips open envelope with her
teeth). Here’s one: “What’s the best time to take your dog for a walk?”
Max: Ooh. Ooh. I know. I know. “Right now.” (Spins repeatedly
until he falls down dizzy on another sheet of paper and reads it). This one
asks: “Should you train your dog to fetch?”
Bubba: Easy. “Not without checking your
state’s dog labor laws and rules governing the weight of the object to be
fetched.”
Max: Wow! Governing! You’re good at this.
Bubba: (Buffing her toenails on a sofa
cushion) I know.
Max: So, do we just keep on making up questions?
Bubba: No, we wait for people to write them
in the comment space down below.
Max: (peering under the sofa) I don’t see anything down here.
Bubba: (sighing) Down below this blog.
Max: (Chewing his tail) I knew that.
Bubba: Right. And I just grew an opposable
thumb.
Max: Okay, so what do we do while we wait for people to write
something?
Bubba: I guess you could always chase a
squirrel.
Max: Squirrel? (Runs full tilt into sliding glass door then
collapses in a heap). Where?
Since I am Irish and I own and Irish Setter, and since St. Patrick's Day is coming up, how dressed up should my dog and I be for this awesome holiday?
ReplyDeleteBubba: As long as you have a green beer in your hand, you're good. And only a green collar or harness for your dog.
ReplyDeleteMax: Right. No silly hats or T-shirts with slogans. Never humiliate a dog or you could suffer the consequences.
P.S. We asked Mom to type this for us because we're busy barking out the window.
Hi Carolyn,
ReplyDeletePlease feel free to delete this comment after you have read it.
I have tried desperately to contact you via email, however I just keep getting a steady stream of bounceback messages from your address.
It seemed to work okay for a short while, but not any more.
I received two Kindle gifts from you today, I hope that was what you intended.
Thank you so much for that, I shall start some promotion for the books just as soon as possible and I do promise to publish full reviews for them eventually, although I do have a huge backlog of author requests right now.
I have featured 'An Uncertain Refuge' in several posts and memes so far, with more to come and it has elicited some very positive interest and comments. It is next on my reading list, which is great and I am really looking forward to starting on it very soon.
If you have any other way of conatcting you please try and let me know, I searched long and hard for a contact link on your website, but couldn't find one!
Yvonne
www.fiction-books.biz
yvonne@inspirebooks.co.uk
Apart from all of this, training dogs for fetch is important. And one should start the training when he is a puppy.
ReplyDelete