A word or two if I might

 Nerdvana – “a state of perfect happiness for nerdy or geeky people”

Which is kinda my home turf. I’m a word guy. Which partially explains my 40 plus year career as a semi-professional pronouncer on broadcast radio. The other part of the explanation centers on my butt-laziness and desire to make a living without breaking a sweat. I am also one of America’s foremost amateur etymologists. (Contrary to popular belief, Etymology is not the study of grubs and garden slime) It’s the study of the origin of words and the way in which their meanings have changed throughout history.

Some words are just fun to say. I’ll never forget when I first heard the word “kumquat” as a kid and spent the next two weeks working it into every conversation. It annoyed the hell out of my fourth-grade teacher. “Oh, Mrs. Young, I think Billy just fired off a smelly kumquat.” Or “Mrs. Young, the product of 47 times 23 is kumquat.” She ended up making me look up the meaning of “kumquat” and write it on the blackboard numerous (kumquat) times.

In a recent telephone conversation with my friend Steve, I called our get together a “palaver”. He chuckled, said he liked the word and offered up “snollygoster.” I had to admit that his word was more fun to pronounce than mine. Just to keep my etymology credentials current I’ll tell you that “palaver” comes from the Portuguese word palavra which simply means word or talk. “snollygoster” describes an unprincipled but shrewd person, usually a politician. Gosh, what Washington D.C. resident could that possibly describe?

In the interest of making this blog interactive, I’m going to offer 10 words that are just fun to work into an otherwise unrelated conversation. These are guaranteed to accrue compliments or, alternatively, invitations to take yourself to another room. They are listed in no particular order of importance.  

10: Snood: An ornamental hairnet or fabric bag worn over the hair at the back of a woman's head: “Say, Agnes, you’re really rocking that snood!”

9:  Bumfuzzle: This is a word that was retired from the language much too soon. It means to confuse, perplex or fluster someone.  

8.  Dipthong: No, this is not sexy lingerie worn by a clueless dork. Although maybe it should be. It actually means a sound formed by the combination of two vowels in a single syllable. Such as coin, or loud. See why I prefer the lingerie definition?

7: Kerfuffle This one just rolls off the tongue. It means an argument or small spat. 

6: Flibbertigibbet: Describes someone who talks a lot or who is a little silly. The word seemed to appear fairly regularly on my job reviews.

5: Bloviate:  One of my all-time favorites. And no, it isn’t related to intestinal distress. It’s actual definition is “to talk at length”, especially in a pompous or boastful way. It could easily describe the same politician as the “snollygoster.”

4: Yoink: No, I’m not trying to pile on the unnamed resident of the White House whose initials are D.T. “Yoink” is actually a verb meaning to grab or take quickly.

3: Codswallop: Another word that should come out of retirement. It means words or ideas that are foolish or untrue. Which also describes much of the content of my radio broadcasts.

2: Bazinga: A catchphrase used to indicate a trick or prank has been played. The modern equivalent might be “SNAP!!!”

1: Higgledy-piggledy: Sounds like a kid’s game, doesn’t it. “Billy’s the “higgledy-piggledy.” He has to sleep in the slop trough tonight!”

I’m sure a google search (much like the one I just conducted) will bring you more fun words to say out loud in mixed company. I’m eager to hear what impact our little exercise in etymology will wreak on your social standing.