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Sunday, February 6, 2011

BARK--COUNTER BARK

We were thinking of things to post for an initial blog and decided to put our dogs Bubba, a Yorkie-Schnauzer mix, and Max a Maltese milk ball of a canine, to work on it. Here's what they came up with.

Max:  Oh boy, oh boy, we're gonna blog, we're gonna blog we're--

Bubba: Hey, hey, hey, cool your jets Mr. Girly-dog. First of all, do you even know what a blog is?

Max:  Of course I do. It's a . . . It's kinda like a . . . It sorta looks like a . . . Okay, no, I'm clueless.

Bubba:  (Sigh) It's a place you go on the Internet to write your opinions.

Max:  Okay, okay, I get it. Go to the Internet, write opinions. Sure. I can do that. I can do that.

Bubba:  No, you can't.

Max:  I can't? Why not?

Bubba:  Because you don't have any, that's why not.

Max:  Of course I do. I got opinions. I got all kinds of opinions.

Bubba:  Such as?

Max:  Okay, give me a second here. Thinking, thinking, thinking . . .
Bubba:  You're not thinking, you're licking your dingle.

Max:  Huh, oh yeah, sorry.

Bubba: Why would you do that in front of everybody here?

Max: Uh, because I can? Okay, an opinion. Here it comes, a big old fat opinion. An opinion like you wouldn't believe. My opinon is SQUIRREL !!!!!

Bubba:  Squirrel? That's it? That's your big opinion? That's not an opinion, that's like a rat with a big bushy tail.

Max:  But I really like to chase them. And there are tons of them in the back yard. And, and, and . . .

Bubba: Keep thinkin', Max, that's what you're good at.

Max:  Dad's got lots of opinions. And he says the newspaper won't print em anymore because of the compliants.

Bubba: You mean complaints?

Max: What-----ever. And Mom's got all kinds of opinions too only Dad says he's tired of hearing 'bout them cuz they're mostly about what he ought to be doing during his retirement instead of playing poker and messin' round on the pool table.

Bubba: So they're going to put stuff up on the blog to let other people know what they think.

Max:  Yep. Stuff 'bout writing, and reading and movies and restaurants and life in Vancouver and . . .and . . . and . . .

Bubba:  Well, I'm having no part of this whole blog thing.

Max:  How come Mz. Schnorkie Grumpy-pants? Why don't you wanna blog? Huh, huh, huh?

Bubba:  What's in it for moi? I don't write books like Mom and Dad. Getting my name out on the Internet won't get me more cookies. And quit licking yourself. How many times do I have to tell you?

Max:  Oops, sorry. Forgot where my tongue was. No cookies? We're not gettin' cookies for this? You sure?

Bubba:  Nope, no cookies. They expect us to do it just for the fun of it.

Max:  Fun. You mean like playing the Squirrel-toy-down-the-stairs game?

Bubba:  Forget that, you already tore all the stuffing out Mr. Squirrel.

Max:  Oh, yeah. You mean like the sit-on-Daddy's-chest first-thing-in-the-morning game?

Bubba: (another sigh) Exactly like that. Only different. Really Max, they're exploiting us. No, I repeat, NO cookies involved. They can't expect us to go online and update this blog every week. It's a really bad idea.

Max:  Yeah, a really bad . . .? Just because of the no cookies thing?

Bubba: No, because if we write it and thousands and thousands of people read it and we get all famous and everything it could be a disaster.

Max:  A dis-what-ster?

Bubba:  Think about it slew foot. Next thing you know people will start talking about the incredible blogging doggies. And we'll get invited on David Letterman to do stupid dog tricks.

Max:  Oh, I like him. He's almost as sarcastic as
Mom. And that would be a bad thing why?

Bubba:  Because I'd be the one standing next to you when you lick your dingle on national TV, that's why.

Bubba and Max have a page on Mike and Carolyn's web site at http://www.deadlyduomysteries.com/

11 comments:

  1. Welcome to the blogosphere, Max, Bubba, and their mom & dad, too!! The best I can offer besides being eager to read your next is this link, which Max and Bubba made me think of. You may already know it. In which case, plain old welcome again!

    http://www.city-data.com/forum/cats/759145-exercepts-dogs-diary-cats-diary.html

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  2. Alice, don't you have a pack of dogs? Will they be blogging soon?

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  3. This is great fun. I can just imagine it. Hope to see more of all of you.

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  4. Welcome to blogging! More opportunity to create more writing angst. Glad to see the whole family here -- I guess that means we need to hear from Viper every once in awhile, too.

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  5. Gracie dog has slobbered all over my keyboard and my fingertips are slllllliiiiiiiippppppppping!
    Down girl down!

    Oh, she doesn't understand that command.

    Remove thyself pronto.

    Now we're fine. Can't wait. Oh now I'm slobbering all over the keyboard......

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  6. Carolyn & Mike & Bubba & Max - Your own blog! Congrats! Envision me break a bottle of champagne over this brand spanking new blog as it sets sail into the ethernet of the internet. Look forward to your next post. Susan Skipwith :)

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  7. Readers, here's where you can help. What pressing issues do you think our canine commentators should address next. Pooper scoopers versus plastic bags? Why barking at dogs on television show is a critical function of the succesful guard dog? Microeconomics as measured by the fullness of the kibble jar? Send in your suggestions and we'll pass them on to Max and Bubba for a future Bark/Counterbark

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  8. Arf - arf - woof - huff, huff, huff.
    Love, Tiffany

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  9. "Bubba: You're not thinking, you're licking your dingle."

    Hahahahahaha...that is so...dog.

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  10. I am stunned. Do Max and Bubba have any comment on the fact that dog owners are required to pick up their pets poop on hiking trails but horse owners are exempt? As a cyclist I must say that this seems counterintuitive to me.

    David

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