Crank Old Guys Club

This meeting of the cranky old guys club is now called to order. (Sound of gavel pounding)

It’s true. Stuff that I would have shrugged off a mere 5 (or possibly 10) years ago now annoys the s*** out of me. 

Examples? Ooooooh, have I got examples.

•    Sequels to movies that were turkeys in the first place. Exhibit A—The Thomas Crown Affair. The original was a ho-hum thriller with the always phlegmatic Steve McQueen and the monotone mumbler Ali McGraw. The remake starred the sleek and emotionless Pierce Brosnan and Rene Russo, who makes even Ali look animated.

• Speaking of movies, why do we have to sit through a dozen trailers, seven commercials and a 20 minute whoring of television shows to get to the featured movie? It’s enough to put a guy off his popcorn.

• High tech golf gadgets. Here’s a typical conversation on the golf course with me and Mr. GPS.

Mr. GPS: How far do you think it is from here to the hole? 

Me:(Eyeballing 150 yard post and flagstick) Maybe 165 yards.

 Mr. GPS:  Wrong! It’s 167.4587 yards.

 Me:  Great! I wouldn’t want to make a big mistake and swing my 165 yard club and come up  2.4587 yards short.      

                           

The average weekend golfer is not even sure he will hit the ball, let alone know exactly how far he’s going to hit it. I vote to restrict GPS usage to those who want to get hopelessly lost in a strange city when a road map could have told them where to go.

• People who constantly take big risks by zooming from lane to lane in gridlocked traffic. Got news for you, pal. When we finally make it to the Interstate Bridge, you’re going to be right beside me again. With some luck you'll get to your destination 2.4587 seconds earlier than if you'd just cooled your jets and waited.

• Freeway or major highway exits that don’t offer an immediate way back on to aforementioned highway or freeway. Having zoned out on my way to take a friend to the airport recently, I slid off one exit too soon and wandered through an east Vancouver neighborhood for 20 minutes trying to get back to the big asphalt. What they need is a GPS with a voice that shrieks “You’re taking the wrong exit, numbskull.”

• Electronic music. I’m sorry, but it takes no talent to program a computer to repeat the same series of synthesized drum rhythms from now until the end of time. One of our water aerobics instructors favors this insult to music lovers during her deep water workouts and I have to fight the urge to tear off my flotation device, sink to the bottom of the pool and stay there.

• Food manufacturers who try to jack their profit margins by whittling down package sizes. Did you know ice cream no longer comes in a half gallon? Instead, you’re buying 1.75 quart containers. Note to the folks at the Tillamook creamery. Charge me an extra 25 cents and put the ice cream in half gallons like God intended them to be.

There’s more but I’ll save it for the next meeting. Hopefully I can include some of your faves.

42 Defines Courage and Entertains


Mike Nettleton

Many people equate courage with violence. Certainly brave soldiers who face danger on the battlefield or police officers who pursue bad guys with deadly weapons and keep them from causing harm to other human beings deserve the label “courageous.”
But there are many shades of courage. As the film 42 demonstrates, sometimes courage involves not acting, not lashing out at those of small, cruel minds, not defending yourself against verbal, psychological and even physical abuse. Such was the courage of an African-American athlete named Jackie Robinson.
 

We’ve known the story forever, of course. It’s taught in high school history classes now. We read that Jackie Robinson, a three-sport star at UCLA was picked by Brooklyn Dodgers owner Branch Rickey to break the color barrier-that he was showered with racial epithets and faced discrimination and thousands of threats. We were taught that finally, his talent, determination and charisma helped the next generation of African-American players fully integrate baseball. What 42 does is bring the emotional toll Jackie Robinson submerged just to survive, up to the surface, where we can experience it with him.
 
Make no mistake about it, 42 depicts post-war America at it’s very ugliest, and, in some ways, most noble. You find yourself repulsed by the raw bigotry Robinson endured on a daily basis, yet uplifted by his struggle to maintain control, to prove himself a more evolved human being than his tormentors.

 
42 may be my movie-of-the year, pending whatever else comes along. Not only will it entertain you, but it provides a perspective on how far we’ve come and how far we have left to travel in our quest to judge our fellow human beings by their character and actions and not by some superficial factor like skin color, political affiliation or sexuality.
 
One of the points the movie makes so well is that attitudes and prejudices are learned behaviors—passed from father and mother to son and daughter. I hope families will see this film together and use it as a jumping off point for a conversation about compassion and understanding.
 
The visual details created by the filmmakers are striking, including a CGI generated version of historic Ebbets Field in Brooklyn. The acting crackles with energy, with Chadwick Boseman as the enigmatic Robinson, Nicole Beharie as his equally courageous wife Rachel and Harrison Ford, exhibiting impressive character-acting chops as Branch Rickey. Also outstanding are Christopher Meloni as Leo Durocher and Lucas Black as Pee Wee Reese. A personal side note; I loves seeing Max Gail, of Barney Miller fame in a short turn as Burt Wooton, the fill-in Dodger manager for Jackie’s first season.
 
As a certified clumsy person I’d like to offer all five of my thumbs way-up for 42.