The Indy 500 of the future.

PA Announcer: “Gentlemen Start Your Engines!”

Dead silence.

A field of 27 high-powered EVs zip silently for the first turn.

Or imagine a Daytona race with only a high-pitched humming for a soundtrack.

The makers of America’s traditional muscle cars, notably Dodge Challenger and Charger and Ford Mustang are now marketing Electric Vehicles that will outperform their gasoline-powered namesakes. Tesla, Lucid and a number of others are also hitting the market.

For  gearhead skeptics, the quickest EV, the Lucid Air Sapphire will go from 0-60 in under 2 seconds. 1.85 to be precise.

Part of the change that will be hard for some to cope with is cultural. The ritual of idling at a stop light alongside another muscle car, pumping the gas pedal and personal testosterone levels up to the rumble and roar of a 396 or 427 eight-cylinder mega-beast will fade into our collective memories.

My million-dollar idea, (Which Dodge has already pre-empted. More on that in a second) is creating a device that incorporates a tiny mp3 player loaded with muscle car sounds from our automotive past. It would be set up to correspond to different levels of foot pressure on the accelerator. Users could dial up the engine sound they wanted to pump into high-quality rear mounted speakers and the relative volume they wanted to inflict on other motorists and pedestrians. I’m working on brand names. I’m thinking either Vroomblaster or Growlplifier. Other small steps that might help ease the motorhead angst include flame decals, fuzzy dice for the rear-view mirror and a device that sprays a delicate mist of gasoline smell into the car's cockpit.   

Dodge’s new EV Challengers and Chargers will come standard with built in massive gas engine sounds. They’ll also have exhaust pipes and manual gear shifts, neither of which is necessary (or useful) in operating the vehicle. But they hope the devices will act as an attractant for those who still get an almost sexual charge from hearing their car burble and rumble as they wait for the light to change.

        The other cultural shift will be adapting our rich library of hot rod songs to the new EV reality. A couple of possible examples.

        She unplugged her daddy’s car and cruised to the hamburger stand now. She forgot all about the library like she told her old man now!

    Little GTO. You’re really looking fine. Eight anodes and a quick jolt. You really glide off the line.

It's the little old lady from Pasadena (Go granny, go granny, go granny, go)

Has a pretty little flowerbed of white gardenias (Go granny, go granny, go granny, go)

But plugged in at her rickety old garage. There's a brand new shiny red EV Dodge

    Kidding aside, I love my Nissan Leaf E.V. Quiet, quick and non-polluting. I love driving by gas stations and thumbing my nose at the insane prices they’re asking for gasoline. I love getting a gasoline bill with the number 0 in the total charges' column.

        My prediction. (And I have a horrible track record of predicting the future. For example, I never saw Trump coming.) Within ten years EVs will be the dominant vehicle on America’s roads and highways. If I’m right, remember you read it here. And if I’m wrong, refer to the words in the prior parentheses.