Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Canine Confidential
An Advice Column for People Who Love Their Dogs (Possibly Too Much)

Max: (gnawing on a pencil) Remind me again why I have this.

Bubba: Not as a dietary supplement. We’re starting an advice column.

Max: Cool. (Runs in a circle) I’m jiggy with that. Let’s do it. (pant, pant) Uh, what’s advice?

Bubba: It’s what Mom always gives Dad.

Max: Oh. You mean the stuff he never listens to.

Bubba: Except when she bribes him with the last ginger snap.

Max: Ginger snap crumbs. Oh, boy, Oh boy! (Wrestles with the pencil) How do you hold this, anyway?

Bubba: Use your thumb.

Max: Don’t got one.

Bubba: Oh, yeah, huh? (Takes the pencil from him). Okay, then, it’s settled. We’ll type our answers.

Max: Answers. Yeah. I can do that. Uh, what do we answer?

Bubba: Questions.

Max: You mean those words with the hooky-dotty thing at the end?

Bubba: Right. (Rips open envelope with her teeth). Here’s one: “What’s the best time to take your dog for a walk?”

Max: Ooh. Ooh. I know. I know. “Right now.” (Spins repeatedly until he falls down dizzy on another sheet of paper and reads it). This one asks: “Should you train your dog to fetch?”

Bubba: Easy. “Not without checking your state’s dog labor laws and rules governing the weight of the object to be fetched.”

Max: Wow! Governing! You’re good at this.

Bubba: (Buffing her toenails on a sofa cushion) I know.

Max: So, do we just keep on making up questions?

Bubba: No, we wait for people to write them in the comment space down below.

Max: (peering under the sofa) I don’t see anything down here.

Bubba: (sighing) Down below this blog.

Max: (Chewing his tail) I knew that.

Bubba: Right. And I just grew an opposable thumb.

Max: Okay, so what do we do while we wait for people to write something?

Bubba: I guess you could always chase a squirrel.

Max: Squirrel? (Runs full tilt into sliding glass door then collapses in a heap). Where?


  1. Since I am Irish and I own and Irish Setter, and since St. Patrick's Day is coming up, how dressed up should my dog and I be for this awesome holiday?

  2. Bubba: As long as you have a green beer in your hand, you're good. And only a green collar or harness for your dog.
    Max: Right. No silly hats or T-shirts with slogans. Never humiliate a dog or you could suffer the consequences.

    P.S. We asked Mom to type this for us because we're busy barking out the window.

  3. Hi Carolyn,

    Please feel free to delete this comment after you have read it.

    I have tried desperately to contact you via email, however I just keep getting a steady stream of bounceback messages from your address.

    It seemed to work okay for a short while, but not any more.

    I received two Kindle gifts from you today, I hope that was what you intended.

    Thank you so much for that, I shall start some promotion for the books just as soon as possible and I do promise to publish full reviews for them eventually, although I do have a huge backlog of author requests right now.

    I have featured 'An Uncertain Refuge' in several posts and memes so far, with more to come and it has elicited some very positive interest and comments. It is next on my reading list, which is great and I am really looking forward to starting on it very soon.

    If you have any other way of conatcting you please try and let me know, I searched long and hard for a contact link on your website, but couldn't find one!